No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
