honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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