A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
