I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
