i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
