party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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