I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
