nut hugger
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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