No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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