Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
