Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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