What a fucking waste of an outfit
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
and you fell through a lawn chair
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize