i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
