Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
