I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I feel like abortions should bother me more
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
