He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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