I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
