ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
