So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
