The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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