Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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