Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So squirting runs in the family.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
