So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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