I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
