Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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