we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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