saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
