There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
