Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
