you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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