i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
