but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
