You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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