We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
