I can't watch pbs sober anymore
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
