I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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