It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
