I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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