Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
