in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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