It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
