dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
