Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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