He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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