I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
