Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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