lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
