Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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