I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it's like iHOP with fire
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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