walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
