He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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