Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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