hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize