Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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