So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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