but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
