like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
