Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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