Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Are we still banned from the library?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
