I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
