like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
